“Because it was in that period of loneliness that I found myself. Because I saw, finally, what kind of love I deserved. And I knew that there was only one person whose love I wanted again. I wanted it so badly I could taste it. The love that was once given so freely to me, the love that had sheltered me and cushioned my falls, was gone and I felt like with its loss came a small death. Do you know what it’s like to be haunted by ghosts of memories past? Taunting you and mocking you for the choices you’ve made? I do.
Throughout my youth I believed only in one dream, and never even considered why. I kept my eyes closed to the even better reality that had been waiting to be realized. I kept myself shielded from the love that had been waiting for me selflessly and faithfully.
When this awakening came, I knew. I knew that if Joon were to come back to me, I will love him in the same exact way, whether or not he still loved me. I will love him with no condition and no expectation, just as he had done for me. I will offer my heart as a gift, just like he did. It hadn’t been a matter of ego, or pride, because the most empowering thing I have ever done in my life was take control of my heart. I got to know its every scar, its every crevice and every beat, and I accepted for whom it beats the strongest. No matter what happened, I owed him the knowledge that his love is returned and that he is loved deeply and wholly. He needed to know that the six years he had spent loving me had not been for nothing.
I knew when he finally returned that it was still a long shot that he would give me another chance. But I’ve then adopted his faith and his perseverance, and there was no turning back. I had already made my choice. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy road, but I was prepared to fight every battle for Joon’s heart. Because he did it for me. And because he was worth it. Even with his flaws and imperfections, even with his demons and his mistakes, I will love him.”
-Excerpt from AMC Tenth Inning Part 1
As the writer I think I’m still entitled to favorite parts. And this is one of them huhu…